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NSA To Subsidize Xbox One Purchases Up To $200

'24 /7 Surveillance Just Got Easier!'


(SNN) - Officials with the National Security Agency announced in a news release that the department is offering anyone who buys an Xbox One will receive a prepaid Visa card for a cool two hundred dollars.  The move appears designed to encourage sales of the Microsoft gaming and entertainment console over the less expensive Sony PlayStation 4. The Japanese model isn’t designed to relentlessly monitor the users of the system like its rival which features face-recognition software that allows it to track, not only our every move, but also our every mood.

‘Having one of these units in every household in America would be a godsend!” enthused Director of Communications for the agency, Skip Toomalou in the release. “We could cut our expenses in half saving the U.S. taxpayer billions. Of course we wouldn’t, since we would be sure to find other uses for the money.”

Toomalou did indicate there was a downside to agents hacking Xbox Ones for surveillance purposes. “A lot of these units will end up in the bedrooms of pimply-faced frat boys,” pointed out Toomalou. “No one wants to know what they do alone in front of their monitors.”

Sony has expressed its outrage at the government so obviously trying to favor one company over another but there is little recourse for the entertainment conglomerate. Vice-President of Corporate Communications (America), Frederick Ulmer II, claimed the blatant favoritism was un-American and he has a huge file of names and dates that reveal government deceit in the program.  Ulmer, who has the best monogram in government, could not be reached for further comment, however, as he has suddenly gone missing.

Photo by: Ricky Brigante  flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed

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