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NSA On Scariest 3 Letter Combo List With NRA & MSG

'Agency Officials Excited to Crack Top Ten'

(SNN) - The Society for Noting Obvious Things, a high-level Washington think-tank, has released the results of an annual survey which identifies the scariest three letter combinations in the nation. For the first time ever, the NSA has cracked the list, coming in at number seven. Here is the list in its entirety for 2013.

10. OWN: The Opera Winfrey Network. Mostly just scary to males, the testosteronally challenged TV channel has been on the list since 2012. It replaced IOU at number ten which did not make the list in 2013 as the nation fell in love, once more, with debt.

9. SEC: Only fear-inducing to the wealthy, the Securities Exchange Commission has dropped from the dizzying heights of being Number 1 in 2008. The fear has abated since the discovery that no one ever takes a fall for securities manipulation; a fact which reduced the perceived threat level considerably.

8. ADD: Having or being around someone with Attention Deficit Disorder is truly frightening for many in society. The lack of focus can be upsetting and confusing, although, did you see the new Superman movie yet?

7. NSA: In its debut on the list, the National Security Agency has suddenly come out from under the rock it was hiding thanks to whistleblower, Edward Snowden. The agency is now on everyone’s radar and watching them closely; almost as closely as they have been watching us. Some analysts suggest the uptick is also from people confusing the acronym with “No Sugar Added”, a feature of sweets for diabetics.

6. GMO: “Genetically Modified Organism” is a designation that strikes fear into the hearts of health food aficionados worse than week-old poutine. Despite the fact that GMO products are widely available and mostly, sort of, fairly safe in some ways, they get worse PR than Monsanto.

5. MSG: Even scarier than phone eavesdroppers, mental conditions and lame TV networks, Monosodium Glutamate is still a popular fear-inducing food additive. Being credited with causing everything from terminal rickets to a thirst that only a two-four of wobbly-pops can quench, the chemical is so popular in the processed food industry; it actually scored higher than its fellow food bogeyman GMO.

4. IRS: Always a perennial favourite on this list, the Internal Revenue Service has climbed to the fourth position after a surge of voting from Tea-Party Republicans. At least they won’t wonder why their personal income taxes are in for an audit..

3.  CIA: The Central Intelligence Agency is America’s eyes, ears, silenced pistols and exploding cigarellos overseas. The agency finally has made the top three in the scariest three-letter acronym awards for the first time in 2013, aided by a bribe here and a threat there among the voting public.

2: NRA: For politicians in the southern U.S., there are few things scarier than not having the support of the National Rifle Association. The strength of the NRA lobby has been compared to “having all the guns in America aimed at your head.” It is impossible to quantify the destruction, damage and despair these three letters have caused to society. It is almost unthinkable the NRA didn’t make Number One. What could possibly be worse than the NRA?

1: PMS: Pre-Menstrual Syndrome. Oh… right. That would be it.

Photo by: Steve Rhodes  flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed


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