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U.S. Government Whistleblower Crack-Down Nets 86,943 Lifeguards

Security Agencies Over-React In Post-Snowden World


(SNN) Officials with a number of agencies responsible for America's safety, including the FBI, Homeland Security and The Boy Scouts of America are red-faced for misunderstanding the parameters of a federal government directive.

A decree issued by the White House  for all security-related institutions to comb through their records for “whistleblowers” like Edward Snowden was mis-interpreted by a number of the agencies. Besides almost 100,000 lifeguards, referees in many sports were also rounded up

Officials from the Oval Office were apologetic over the incidents. The spokesman for the administration, Mookie Von Trapp, explained how restitution will be made.

“Everyone is really embarrassed about this faux pas,” admitted Von Trapp, “However, we promise to get everybody home safely from the screening centers as soon as they are processed. We don’t anticipate it will take more than two or three weeks at the most."

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