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China launched a three-man mission into space.

US perplexed: "How do they do it on such a budget."


(SNN) - China has launched three astronauts into orbit which will be the longest crewed mission in its space exploration program to date. The Shenzhou 10 spaceship blasted off from its platform in the Gobi Desert on Tuesday. The mission calls for a rendezvous with an orbiting space lab.

The Sage has learned that the Chinese Space program is funded solely on the sale of long grain rice, and stewing chickens. “We put a man into space for as little as 15,000 yuan, or 1000 bushels of rice and 55 chickens,” said China National Space Administration (CNSA) spokesperson Mi Hung Hai.

In comparison, the now defunct manned US Space Program would have decimated the American agricultural industry and put Colonel Sanders out of business. It is estimated that one Shuttle mission would have cost the lives of 720 billion chickens and one bowl of white rice.

“We got a special price from NASA on unused boosters, and our electronics and avionics are made up of crap-tablets running Android Cupcake (1.5) costing only three yuan a piece.” said Hung Hai.

A source close to the program has informed The Sage that the most savings are achieved in the capsule itself. “The Shenzhou uses one seven inch tablet, running an App we downloaded from Google.” said an unnamed source. 

The Chinese Space Program boomed when NASA cancelled the manned missions to the moon. “The US bargain binned their lunar rover program, and descent systems. We got them for less than all the rice in China,” chuckled Hung Hai, “Everything is so cheap in America.”

The Chinese are planning to land a mobile exploratory probe to the moon in advance of a manned mission by the end of this decade.


Photo by: NASA's Marshall Space Flight Center flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
 
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