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Manitoba to Sue Saskatchewan For Flood Damages

'Have You People Never Heard of Geographic Features?'


(SNN) In a stunning move, Manitoba premier Greg Selinger has announced his province will be bringing suit against its next door neighbor, Saskatchewan, for being the cause of their “once in a hundred year” flood areas to be underwater on an annual basis.

“Moisture from the ocean comes over the mountains into Alberta, which is decent enough to have topography; you know, hills, valleys, deserts, etcetera, to slow water down and allow it to be soaked into the earth,” explained Selinger in a news conference on Friday. “When all the rain and snowmelt hits Saskatchewan, however, it’s like spilling a glass of water on a tabletop. It goes wherever it tilts since there’s nothing to stop it. Unfortunately, Saskatchewan tilts toward Manitoba and it is costing us billions. We have no choice but to try and recover the damages from the root cause of our problem. I mean, come on, people. Haven’t you ever heard of hills? When you drive in Alberta and see a “hill” sign on the highway, do you wonder what the puff it is?”

Saskatchewan Premier, Brad Wall, was taken aback by the initiative and described Selinger’s announcement as his fellow premier having a “moody Manitoba morning”. He refused to comment further since he was warned by his legal advisers not to say anything negative about his new adversary.

“Perhaps we may wish to consider giving them a topological feature,” allowed the Saskatchewan premier. “To protect our province from further attack from Manitoba, we should erect a great and mighty Wall. It will be a Wall that endures; a Wall that unites Saskatchewanians forever. They could, maybe call it “Brad”. You know, I like the sound of that!”

Photo by: Jordan Morningstar flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed

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