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US: Republicans to ban Bengay from GOP headquarters.


(SNN) – The Republican party has removed all tubes and tubs of Bengay from the GOP headquarters. “We have learned that the company used to be called Ben-Gay before 1995.” said an unnamed supporter, “Changing the name obviously hides its true agenda. We will have no part in it.”

The Sage has learned that Bengay was the rub of choice for the men's room at the GOP for many years. It was also offered directly from their online GOP store. “I used to have a barbeque apron that said, “Work Hard, then rub down with Bengay.” said Patrick Fitzgerald, “It came as a set with a pin that read: Annoy a Liberal, Work Hard and be Happy.”

The GOP's homophobic probe has been on an heightened state since many states have been debating and passing laws allowing Gay Marriages. “We suspect that 'Ben-Gay' is behind the recent move to tear down the family unit.” said Gerald Fitzpatrick, a GOP organizer. “We have removed the 'Obama Friendly' brand, and replaced it.”

It was reported that GOP members are now rubbing each other down with “Buffy Body Butter.” You can buy a 7.0 oz. block for only $22.95.   

Photo by: bigcityal flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
 
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