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Obama Reduces International Drone Use; Switches to Domestic Targets

'Drones Are Much More Popular Stateside So We May As Well Use Them Here'


(SNN) U.S. President Barack Obama has made an announcement limiting the use of drone strikes in far off lands such as Pakistan and Afghanistan. Not only have they ramped up foreign anger toward America, the administration has indicated they have already blown up everything they dare blow up over there, anyway.

“It is time to scale back our drone weaponry abroad,” orated the president. “From this point forward, we will only be focusing on domestic targets and maybe a few strikes in Canada and Mexico which are almost domestic, kinda, sorta. Since Americans have shown, in a number of polls, that they support drone warfare, it only makes sense to use it where people like it. The popularity of drones in the Middle-East is at an all time low in approval ratings, however, and is actually polling in the negatives.”

When asked what targets might be considered, the Commander in Chief was quite candid.

“We do have some operations in mind, including such subversive enclaves as certain radicalized mosques in Toronto, Canada, drug kingpins in Tijuana, Mexico and, of course, the headquarters of anti-government sentiment in America today; Fox News.”

In response to the announcement by the president, Roger Ailes, Chairman and CEO of FOX appeared wide-eyed and disheveled.

“I am deeply sorry if President Obama misinterpreted our network’s previous thrust and assure him our news department now understands what a great president he is,” quavered Ailes. “We will even use our influence to try and convince him to change the ‘two-term limit’ for presidents.”

Photo by: Debra Sweet flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed

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