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Westboro Baptist Church Members to Picket Russian Earthquake Zone

Quasi-Religious Group Plans to Wave Signs Saying Devastation is Devine Retribution


(SNN) - The Westboro Baptist Church, (WBC) who have been outraging Americans for years with their seemingly heartless, judgmental protests of returning dead troops, are set to go to Russia to picket damaged earthquake areas. The church has picketed practically every American disaster in recent years; blaming nature’s carnage on God’s wrath toward an ungodly population. Their disaster protests have included most recently; the Oklahoma tornadoes, Hurricane Sandy and the Charlie Sheen show. They now plan to bring their extreme fundamentalist views to Russia.

Surprisingly, the much-maligned religious group has received tremendous support for their latest mission from some very unexpected quarters.  For example, a spokesman for the American military establishment, Colonel Ivana Newcomb, who admitted the armed forces invariably opposes the sect’s activities, said that having the WBC congregation go to the Kamchatka Peninsula was “a great idea”.

“Sure, Kamchatka, Siberia, we don’t really care, but we are 100% behind the move to send WBC members to Russia. We are even willing to provide one-way transportation,” offered Newcomb. “It might require a clandestine night-drop via parachute, but we will be happy to get them there, no matter what the risks involved.”

A large number of mainstream church leaders were also excited by the WBC initiative. Officials from such wide-ranging denominations from the Holy Catholic Church to the Mormons and from the Rastafarians to the penis-removing Solar Temple cult were all ecstatic to see the WBC sent to Russia’s wild eastern peninsula.

“The oppressive Russian government and the Westboro Baptist Church sounds like a marriage made in heaven,” claimed New Jersey Rabbi Hymie Spincter when asked to respond to the situation. “I will say they have more chutzpah than even those ‘Pussy Riot’ shiksas.”

Non-religious voices also provided support. When asked to react to the WBC move, the president of the American Association of the Actively Atheistic actually became emotional at the news. With tears in his eyes, the chairman of the group, Newt Estement was quoted as saying, “Perhaps there is a God, after all.”

Photo by: Steve Rainwaters flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
 
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