news director

Please Support our Sponsors

Mad Chicken Disease discovered in Alberta.

Gus Wankermann: "Rodney was a good cock."


(SNN) – Ten years after Marwyn Peaster’s cow fell down, providing the first indication that Alberta's beef industry was about to crash from “Mad Cow Disease”, the industry is slowly coming back and consumer confidence in Alberta Beef is again on a high.

Now, Alberta has another crisis, and that is the discovery of the “Mad Chicken Disease.”

Barrhead farmer, Gus Wankermann, noticed his prize cock chasing after the pigs last Sunday morning, pecking at the poor beasts' snouts. It took Wankermann two hours, a two by four, and a bucket of water to subdue the angered pecker, but not before two pigs, one cow, six yard pigeons and a shetland pony had been molested by the prize cock. “I done had to put him down, poor Rodney. He was a good cock. I don't know what got into him.” said Wankermann.

Regional Agriculturalist Ben DenOver confiscated Rodney for examination and discovered the cock had tell-tale signs of a rare brain disorder which was last discovered in a group of humans in 1936. “We have not seen this disease for decades and it has never been transmitted to a fowl species,” said DenOver. “The last outbreak of 'dufuscus spongiform encephalopathy' (DSE) occurred in a group of closely related people living along the Ozark Plateau between the Arkansas and Missouri borders.”

According to authorities, the new strain discovered in Alberta is called “gallus spongiform encephalopathy” (GSE) or “Mad Chicken Disease.” “It can only be spread through intimate contact with an infected male organism.” said DenOver.

Since the Wankermann incident, several farmers have noticed their cocks attacking other farm animals throughout the Barrhead area. “At this rate I fear for the safety of the sheep,” said one area farmer.

Unlike the beef crisis from years ago, Alberta is not a major distributor of roasting chickens. However, several farmers have voiced their concerns over the affect of the egg quotas they have. Their fears were quelled when they were reminded that eggs come only from hens.

Alberta Agriculture has been silent on this issue.

Photo by: Leif K-Brooks flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
 
More from Brian K. Hahn

 

Recent

Most Viewed

Promote Your Business


Social Activity



Top ^