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Earthquake Felt Across Central Canada After Duffy Bounced From Caucus

Impact Crater Bigger than Russian Tunguska Site


(SNN) - An earthquake that registered 4.8 on the Richter scale, shaking Ontario and Quebec residents Friday morning, has been linked to embattled Senator Mike Duffy being cast out of the Conservative caucus like a demon being exorcized from a demented body.

“As soon as Duffy hit the pavement, the ground shook like the end of the world,” claimed passer-by Manon D’ Street. “People were running screaming through the streets terrified for their lives.”

According to a clutch of seismologists and geologists who had been picketing the area before the impact, after Duffy slammed into Parliament Hill, the earth around Ground Zero was leveled. The House of Commons now sits on “Parliament Knoll”, while the Rideau Canal has been partially filled in.

The porcine politico appeared uninjured in the mishap. Eye-witness accounts claim the beleaguered ex-broadcaster calmly dusted himself off after the cataclysm and went to look for an all-you-can-eat buffet restaurant to bankrupt.

Photo by: Don Graham flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed

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