news director

Please Support our Sponsors

Minnesota legislators vote for same sex marriage

(SNN) - Minnesota is expected to become the twelfth state to legalize same sex marriage. The state voted approval on Monday with 37-30 in favour of approving it.

Gov. Mark Dayton is expected to sign the bill soon. “Minnesota's married couples can now enjoy the same sex week-in and week-out,” said Dayton, “Men will no longer have the pressure to be creative in the bedroom. This should reduce domestic violence in our state.”

The bill will legislate that all sexual relations between a man and a woman in Minnesota will confine itself to “the same position” and “the same role.”

The now authorized position will officially be “The missionary” position and the role will remain the same with the man on top.

During recent hearings, the court heard challenges to the federal Defence of Marriage Act, which defines marriage as between one man and one woman, and to California's Proposition 8, a 2008 ban on same sex marriage approved by voters. Minnesota has now adopted the Act and updated sections to include “same sex” when dealing with consummation of the union and maintenance of a healthy sex life.

The Human Rights Campaigners, which supported same sex marriage rights, seemed confused at the results, "Voters in Minnesota brought anti-equality efforts to a screeching halt on Election Day, and today state leaders have completely cocked it up.”"

“I don't understand how we cocked it up.” said Dayton, “We listened to the protestors and interest groups; and I believe we have a good handle on the situation.”

Minnesota is now known as a “same sex” state.

Photo by: Fibonacci Blue's flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
More from Brian K. Hahn



Most Viewed

Promote Your Business

Social Activity

Top ^