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Centipede Encounter Sends Local Librarian To Hospital

(SNN) - (Embarrass, Minnesota)  Frantica Bughader, a librarian at the Small Corner Branch of the Embarrass Public Library, was rushed to the hospital Tuesday night after a battle with a big, fast moving centipede.  When Ms. Bughader spotted the multi-limbed invader crawling at warp speed up her bedroom wall, she quickly rolled up the May issue of Library Journal and leaped up on her bed in an attempt to smash the creepy crawler to bits.

Mr. O. Nottagin, manager of Ms. Bughader’s apartment complex, reported that he heard hair-raising screams coming from her apartment unit. “I couldn’t find my master key, so I quickly picked the lock and found Ms. Bughader wildly jumping on her bed as she repeatedly swatted at the nasty invader,” explained Nottagin. “I am pretty tall, so I just reached up and tried to grab the little creeper, but I missed and it fell on her pillow. That’s when she really freaked out!”  At that point, Nottagin called 911.

Ambulance crew driver, Maxwell (Mad Max) Seenitall, found Bughader collapsed on the floor in a hyperventilated state. Morris grabbed an empty Orville Redenbacher popcorn bag nearby and instructed Bughader to calm down, put the bag over her mouth and breathe. The med tech crew loaded her into the ambulance for the short 5 minute drive to the hospital right next to the library.

Bughader, in fair condition, is being kept under observation at the clinic for bouts of semi-hysterical rambling about centipedes, millipedes, and something she calls a gazillapede. Doctors are working to adjust her meds.

UPDATE: The Sage has just learned from a reliable source that some night watch nurses report they have seen Bughader leave the hospital and enter the library, where she has been secretly working on shifting all the books about multi-legged insects to the horror section. When asked why the nurses did not attempt to stop Bughader, they said they feared the traumatized librarian would jack up the fines on their overdue books.

Photo by: Jannes Pockele flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed.

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