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Red Hat Ladies Caught Up In Anti-Gang Laws

Group Turns to Civil Disobedience To Make Point

(SNN) - The spokesperson for the Canadian chapter of the Red Hat Ladies appears to have run afoul of the law. This comes as a result of the RHL being investigated by the RCMP gang unit because they conform to certain traits the police force uses to assess organized criminal groups. These traits include; being a member of an identifiable minority, wearing colours, gathering together in large groups and getting pushy.

According to the RCMP’s National Gang Unit head, Sgt. Dwight Savage, the RHL fits all of their parameters and an effort was made to infiltrate the organization.  Unfortunately, since female RCMP officers are so rare due to “certain corporate policies”, they used male undercover officers for the infiltration. Most blew their covers when they screamed something like, “Help me, I’m dying of boredom” and SWAT teams had to be dispatched to recover the downed members.

In response to the sudden suspicion of the group by the force, the RHL responded with civil disobedience. One group is alleged to have surreptitiously planted a flower bed in the Parliament Hill garden with a floral display that spelled out “Toewes is a Dick”. Another RHL cell has claimed responsibility for crocheting doilies with the message, “Bite My Wrinkled, Droopy Ass” They have become the most popular item at farmer’s markets across the land.

No one within the government would return our calls regarding this issue at press time, although one senior Public Safety official said the agency was considering making red hats illegal.

 Photo by: Euegene Peretz Flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed

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