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Doukhobor farmer wakes to find Cargo Ship Embedded into his field.

Authorities are at a loss to explain...

(SNN) - A Doukhobor farmer living south of Kamsack, Saskatchewan awoke Saturday morning to the sight of a cargo ship embedded into his field.  The ship, with no identifiable markings, was measured to be over 450 feet in length and over 30 feet wide. “I done got up and seen off in the distance this huge ship in my fields,” said Dimitry Baev, “My son and I went out and with my cherry picker got up and into it. Nobody, nothing was inside. It was like a ghost ship.”

Kamsack town officials were called in along with the RCMP to investigate. Kamsack is not close to any bodies of water, and a ship of this size is ocean faring. Authorities do not know how it got in the middle of the farmers land. Nothing was disturbed around the ship and the hull seemed to be embedded into the soil approximately eight feet. “The matter is under investigation and our office is in communication with the federal government's department of transport.” Said RCMP spokesperson Cst. F.L. Croop. 

Local beauty parlour owner Ingrid Bezlepkin has called out Baev as a prankster. “He’s full of shit,” said Bezlepkin, “Baev is a story teller, and a chatterbox.” The overall consensus is that Baev somehow placed the ship in the middle of the field as a stunt.

“I did not make this up,” said Baev, “Yes, I am known as a jokester, but come out and touch it.  The thing is an ocean ship. All I got is a Cockshutt tractor, Cherry Picker and a Combine. There is no way I can do this.  I think it was spacemen that put it there.”

Canadian officials have dated the ship from the mid 1940’s. Local RCMP have closed the case with the conclusion that the ship landed in the field in the summer of 1944 when Kamsack was hit by a tornado that is now referred to as the "Kamsack Cyclone." "We have investigated the Baev complaint and beleive that he just did not notice the ship in the field all those years." said Cst Croop.

With no markings on the ship or inside the hull, it remains a mystery.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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