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Harper Commits $82 Million to Clean Energy Initiatives

'I Am Just a Simple Guy Trying to Save The Planet'


(OTTAWA) Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper made a rare appearance before the press to announce a green-shift addition to the government’s agenda.

“We need to make sure our air is clean, our water is pure and safe to drink, and our energy sources to be as pollution-free as possible,” Harper stated in the press conference. “Therefore, to accomplish this important goal, we are refurbishing the furnace at 24 Sussex Drive, which is an older unit and extremely inefficient compared to the latest models.”

“ As well,” continued the PM, “we are installing a new filtration system in the Prime Ministerial swimming pools, ventilation and heating systems and buying a new Brita water purifier.”

Opposition Leaders were quick to pounce on the announcement.

NDP Leader, Tom Mulcair, was appalled at the project since being appalled is the party’s favourite reaction to everything. In a written statement, Mulcair accused Harper of wastefulness, claiming for that amount of money, Harper should have been able to renovate the Opposition Residence, Stornaway, as well.

“The Prime Minister obviously has no respect for taxpayers dollars,” bellowed Mulcair. “This smacks of the worst kind of partisanship.”

The leader of the Liberal, Justin Trudeau, when contacted as far away from the floor of the House of Commons as he can get to avoid difficult  questions in Parliament, was actually supportive of the PM’s plan.

“I hope he fixes it up real nice,” grinned Trudeau slyly. “I can hardly wait to move in!”

 Photo by: Vince Alongi flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed

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