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Manitobans Facing Higher Taxes on Tobacco, Alcohol, Hookers and Blow

Province Hikes Sin Taxes Despite Impact on Government Members

(SNN) - Manitoba Finance Minister, Stan "Sally" Struthers has announced a number of tax increases which will lead to higher prices for cigarettes (up by $1.00 per pack as of midnight tonight), alcohol (rocketing up an average 10% per serving, hookers (lap-dance taxes will increase by 1.86) and blow (although the cost to consumer will increase to $2.00 per snort from $1.50, collecting from the retail outlets has been an ongoing problem.)

“This is hitting us right where it hurts,” moaned senior citizen, Clara Muhelmahay. “Living on a fixed income, it’s hard to set aside a few dollars already for life’s little pleasures, a sip of wine, a line of China White.”

“It’s bad enough they jack the price of booze and smokes,” complained fellow Sunset Apartments inmate, Warren Peace. “Now they are going after my weekly lapdance with “Misty”? It’s therapeutic!”

Minister Struthers finished itemizing the enormous amount that will be generated by the increases by rolling in a tub of loonies and toonies yelling “Mine! All mine! If only we could tax marijuana!”

Photo by: matchity flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed


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