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PM Harper To Step Aside for Ben Mulroney

'The Only Way to Stop Justin Trudeau'


(Ottawa) In a stunning development, Prime Minister Stephen Harper has announced he is planning on giving up the reins of power to former Prime Minister, Brian Mulroney’s son, Ben. Speaking in hockey metaphors, Harper claimed he was “taking one for the team” by promising to resign once Mulroney has been given a cushy bi-election to win.

“Ben would be the ideal line matchup to Trudeau’s charisma and hair style offense,” Harper stated in a hastily-called press conference.  “He’s got looks, he’s got style, he’s got… um… an enormous.. er… chin. This will be great for the Conservative Party of Canada. I mean, he has the ‘Entertainment Tonight: Canada’ vote sewn up solidly. Who else could possibly reach that demographic?”

Mr. Mulroney was surprised by the news of the Prime Minister’s announcement.

“Sounds sounds like a pretty neat gig,” enthused Mulroney on a break from an exclusive interview with the band,  Mumford and Sons. “What does it pay? Will I get bags of money given to me in hotel rooms? I’m in!”

A new poll suggests the Conservatives would win with 40% of the vote with Mulroney at the helm, according to a survey of the ladies at Elsie’s Hair Salon on Calder Street. 

Photo by: Canadian Film Centre flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed

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