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OMG! Birth Control Pills Recalled!

What? What? Are You Kidding Me?

(SNN) - British pharmaceutical manufacturer, Smyth and Cousin-Twice-Removed have admitted there was a manufacturing error that caused thousands of units of birth control pills to be filled with small versions of the popular confection “Sweetarts”.

“We are currently undergoing an internal review to see what lead to the unfortunate situation and have not ruled out corporate sabotage or unbelievable stupidity,” asserted company spokesman Humphrey Wattlebottom. “Meanwhile, we are doing what we can to retain as many lawyers possible to handle all the pending paternity cases.”

Struggling single parent, Wo Nel Lee was distraught at the news of the recall. The pregnant resident of a housing project for unwed persons, Lee was so beside herself with rage, she was actually in the next room for the interview.

“I feel like everything I put my faith in has been torn apart,” weeped the single-mom as she stuffed sour cream-dipped Oreos into her mouth. “If you can’t trust the drug companies, who can you trust?”

One of the 1273 lawyers retained by the company, on condition of anonymity was quoted as saying, “Our main thrust in our defensive posture is that women should have noticed the little sayings inscribed on the mini-Sweetarts, such as, “Ooops!” and “This is gonna hurt!”.

Photo by: Muntse PB flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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