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NASCAR on Track to Sign Agreement with Dubai Cops in Lamborghini Deal

(SNN) - Dubai, United Arab Emirates: NASCAR officials are ready to sign a deal to provide driver’s training for Dubai cops. Dubai’s police force recently acquired a fleet of Lamborghini Aventator luxury sports cars in an effort to catch lead-footed Dubai drivers, who have a bad habit of gunning their engines to 130 mph (210 kph), ripping up tires and endangering lives. Aventators can reach speeds of 217 mph (349 kph); they’re perfectly designed to catch speeding BMWs and Jaguars. Luxury car owners, a majority in Dubai, are excited about seeing the sleek, green and white patrol cars on the streets and probably wouldn’t mind getting pulled over just to get a close-up view and maybe even a chance to sit in the passenger’s seat.

Ihave al-Money, the Commander of the Dubai Police Department’s Driver’s Training Division, is worried about his officers’ ability to drive the new luxury machines. During initial test runs, some cops wiped-out or flipped over numerous times, shaking their confidence to safely sustain high speeds during chases. After several orders of new Aventators to replace those that were totaled, al-Money told the department’s Commander-in-Chief that they needed to arrange for training from the professionals. “I have a Facebook friend, I. Will Goround, who drives and trains for NASCAR,” al-Money told the Commander. “Let me chat him up and see if he is interested in providing some training for our officers.”

After a few days of failed Internet connections, al-Money finally got in touch with Goround, who agreed to talk, but lamented the fact that all his best trainers have passports that are 20 years expired and that it would take 6 - 8 weeks to get new ones. al-Money, whose cousin works for the Department of State, promised to send a brand new Aventator (painted black), in lieu of the fee for expedited processing of the passports. Goround and crew received their passports overnight. Goround is currently in negotiations with al-Money and the Commander. The training crew is standing by.

It is reported that the proposed agreement would bring top NASCAR drivers and Goround to Dubai for an intense, short-term training camp. Drivers will stay at the luxurious Al Maha Desert Resort and will be given free passes to the Wild Wadi Water Slide Park. After training is completed, Dubai cops will race against NASCAR drivers for a 5-lap contest. Each contest will pit one Dubai cop against two NASCAR drivers. To qualify for laying-in-wait for Dubai speeders, the cops must reach at least 200 mph (320 kph) at some point in the race and end up placing first or second. It promises to be a hot competition and tensions will be high for winning a coveted spot as an Aventator Fleet Cop.

Payment to NASCAR and its drivers will be one personal Lamborghini Aventator for each trainer (choice of color) and a fleet of 50 Aventators for the NASCAR franchise to be used at raceways anywhere in the U.S. Should NASCAR drivers win any of the camp races, they will get an extra coat of wax, and a tour of the Dubai Mall.

Should the parties fail to reach an agreement, Dubai cops go back to driving the department’s Jaguars and BMWs, just like the common folk. An announcement on the promising agreement is expected at any time.

Photo by: RDECOM's flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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