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North Korea Tells Embassies in Pyongyang to Plan For Embellishment

Kim Jong-un Advises Allies to Evacuate Embassies


Pyongyang -Youthful, cherubic Korean leader Kim Jong-un has warned his few remaining friends; China, Russia, Iran and the islands of St. Pierre and Miquelon, to vacate their embassies ahead of another empty threat. Korean government officials advised local diplomatic staffers from Kim-friendly countries their safety could not be guaranteed in the shadow of the destructive wave of BS spewing forth from Kim. Scientists from South Korea have measured the impact of the BS wave and claim it has reached as high as 7.8 on the IBEE* scale.

Never before has a world leader reached such high magnitudes in sheer fecal force, although George W. Bush came close a number of times. It does Canada proud that, in international rankings, our own Stephen Harper has demonstrated he is no slouch in the activity, either, with his “Economic Action Plan” being lauded as a masterful stroke.

The majority of Korea’s protein deficient, brain-washed population cheered on Kim’s display of projectile BSing, hoping some of it would spray on them as a food source. Members of the DPRK’s military, too, were impressed with the youthful leader’s aggressive action and stand ready to defend their country against all aggressors, assuming they’re not too weak to pull a trigger.

“Unless the evil United States capitulates completely,” promised Kim in a speech to his elite corps of troops, the so-called “Skeletal Remains”, “I will unleash another, even worse storm of ridiculous rhetoric the likes of which the world has never seen!”

IBEE: International Bovine Excrement Ejaculation scale

Photo by: petersnoopy's flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor the article endorsed.

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