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Canada Increases Pathogen Exports to China

Deal Part of Deadly Substance Exchange Program

Ottawa - Canada’s International Trade Minister, Ed “Not So” Fast, has made an announcement congratulating himself and his negotiating team for working out a new framework to trade lethal materials such as toxins and pathogens to China. The first shipment of brucellosis cultures was to be shipped this week, although, there was a glitch in the plan when the shipment was intercepted at the airport.

Canada has a number of ultra-dangerous compounds to exchange with China including Legionnaire’s Disease, Elks Club Syndrome, First Nations Tuberculosis and Playoff Hockey Fever. In return, Canada is expecting from the Chinese, shipments of H1N1, H4N2, FU2, Asian flu, Hong Kong flu, and the occasional Singapore Sling.

“This is the culmination of a lot of work by my staff and especially myself,” Fast said in his announcement. “I did a great job and I am proud of my efforts.”

What the Chinese wanted the brucellosis culture for is unclear.

Photo by: Kaibara87 flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor the article endorsed.

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