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Hockey World Stunned as Leafs and Pens Trade Owners


(SNN) In a surprise move, the Toronto Maple Leafs have traded their owner, Maple Leaf Sports Entertainment MLSE), to Pittsburgh for Mario Lemieux and Ron Burkle. Although teams often trade a lot of players just before the trade deadline, this is the first time teams have swapped owners.

“I think this is a great move for both clubs,” opined Penguin General Manager,  Ray Shero. “For one thing, It will get that (expletive deleted) micromanaging Lemieux off my (expletive deleted) back. It will be great to only have to deal with a faceless financial conglomerate like MLSE who are only in it for the money.”

Meanwhile in Toronto, the players and coaches were celebrating like they’d finally won something. The excitement in the dressing room was electric.
“Everybody knows our biggest problem is our ownership situation,” admitted Leaf puckboy, Orville Wartley. “It will be great to be owned by real people who understand hockey, not by some stupid corporation that only understands merchandizing, marketing and quarterly profits.”

“It’s a pretty even up trade,” claimed Wayne Gretzky, who is currently involved in efforts to get his daughter’s racy photos removed from the Internet. “MLSE has a better record of 482 wins against 386 losses and 97 ties for a win percentage of .499 while Lemieux and Burkle are just behind with stats of an identical 482 wins but 402 losses and 86 ties for a .497 average. In the playoffs, however, MLSE has only posted a playoff winning percentage of .42, versus .67 for Lemieux and Burkle.” 

Photo by: daveynin's flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor the article endorsed.

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