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Baird Visits Iraq To 'Boost Economic Ties', Smarten Up

Opening Trade Mission Also Planned

Baghdad - John Baird, having angered Stephen Harper recently when the foreign minister failed to “like” one of the Prime Minister’s Facebook posts showing a kitten wearing a cardigan, was sent to Iraq on a “trade mission”. In an overheard conversation from an adjoining washroom stall, it was revealed the trip to Iraq was a surprise to the Ottawa West-Nepean MP. He was actually expecting a junket to Amsterdam for a fact finding mission regarding legal brothels and cannabis.

“I don’t understand it,” mumbled the stunned politico. “What the hell does Iraq have that we need to trade for? Sand? We have lots of our own oil. Isn’t that all they have is oil? That and camel dung?”

Harper claims he sent his minister to the dangerous, volatile region to set up a mission to explore trade opportunities. Insiders, however, say Harper was forcing Baird to jet to the war-torn area to remind the ambitious Baird to wait until the PM’s chair is cold before trying to jump into it.  To further underline the intent, PR staffers took out ads in every Iraqi newspaper of the impending visit including routes of travel and accommodation arrangements. Harper refused to let Baird use his bulletproof SUV, but did arrange transportation in a SmartCar sponsored and logoed by Target Inc.

Military analysts, however, are confidant Baird has nothing to fear from ruthless insurgents as it is acknowledged everywhere that MP’s under Harper have no real power or influence and, therefore, are just not worth the effort.

Photo by: ABajooka flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor the article endorsed.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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