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Moose Jaw Bake Sale delivers surprise goods.

(SNN) - It's the annual resident family picnic at Creeky Bones nursing home, in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan. Each year the kitchen staff put together a fantastic afternoon meal consisting of BBQ burgers, hotdogs and numerous salads. The nursing home residents decided they would like to include a bake sale.

There was a new portable crapper, that when hooked up to a water source would gently spray up under a residents nether regions, thus never having to use toilet paper again. It would be installed in the newly renovated bathing room that had been decked out with their very own grow-op (for medicinal purposes only), a loonies bar and 60 inch surround sound TV.

Spoke person for the resident council, Betty Joe Cobbledick, commented, "Those young nurses think we need help with the baking, well we'll show those little bitches a thing or two." The week leading up to the picnic was buzzing with activity, with each lady who resided in the nursing home baking up their speciality.

The day of the picnic it was decided that after the meal each resident's baked goods would be sold to the highest bidder. The Mayor's wife, Anita Plummer, was so pleased with her purchase of Mable Widebottom's Chocolate brownies and Susie P. LaTrine`s Lemon cookies. But she noticed that none of the staff bid on any goods. When asked why, the only thing said was,"We know where their hands have been."

Later on that evening, it was discovered that Mable Widebottom had removed her colostomy bag sometime during the week. Unfortunately the Mayor’s wife had already left with her purchased goods.

The management was unavailable for comment.

Photo by: angela n.'s flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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