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Canadian Warship Crew Involved In 500 kg Heroine Seizure

Largest Bust Ever Seen By Sailors

(SNN) - A Canadian destroyer-class warship, HMCS Trawna, stationed just off the Sydney Opera House was the scene of a tragedy in the music world. Enormously endowed Russian-born soloist Olga Volga "The 500 Kilo Wonder" was playing the principal heroine in an outdoor performance of the opera “Madam Butterfly Shrimp” when she was beset with a seizure that caused her conical aluminum bustier to collapse revealing the contents of the massive chest covering adorning the stricken soprano (no relation to Tony).

“It was a huge bust,” stated Commander Kirk De Soleil. “It is definitely the largest we have witnessed and is, perhaps a world record. I am proud to have been a part of it although it did have an effect on my crew.”

The bust, which sent the audience screaming in terror were safely dispersed by a special ops team from on board the Trawna, which no doubt contributed greatly to there being no loss of life. Four men were, however taken to hospital from smothering-related injuries.

“We will have trauma councilors deal with those that were adversely affected by this gigantic bust, of course,” added the commander. “No one should have to be exposed to that kind of horror.”

Photo by: davidgolbitz's flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor the article endorsed.


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