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Rogue MPs to Suffer Consequences For Doing Their Job

Backbenchers Rebuked For Having Opinions

Ottawa, ON. - More than twenty Tory backbenchers have been given notice they will be called on the carpet for having opinions not shared by the Prime Minister. Despite going through the proper procedural channels to bring a private members bill regarding limiting abortion in cases of gender selection, the bill was quashed undemocratically in a committee meeting. When the backbencher, Mark Warawa dared to complain, he was supported by other mal-contents who also now face censure.

“I say we should boil them in oil,” asserted Tory Party Whip, Qua Z. Moto (Moosejaw Center). “Next thing you know they will want to vote with their conscience instead of how I tell them. What kind of democracy would that be?”

“You know what we do with guys with fancy opinions, don’t you?” grinned one staunch Harperite while cleaning the barrel of his Winchester .32 Special. “We play “Survivor; Nunuvut”.”

An un-named backbencher, who was caught nodding compassionately toward one of the rebel members, who wants to remain un-named for fear of retribution, was visibly shaken.

“After I sympathized with one guy, I was taken into an office and beaten up with old copies of Hansard,” quavered weepy MP, Blaire Balkins. “The ones that actually came to Warawa’s defense are now being sent on “fact-finding” missions to Syria.”

Meanwhile, across Parliament Hill could be heard the sound of Justin Trudeau and Thomas Mulcair rubbing their hands in glee (although not each other’s hands, which would just be weird.).

Photo by: FarinelliMoi  flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor the article endorsed. 

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