news director

Please Support our Sponsors

Dozens Injured At Liberal Leadership Debate

Mysterious Sleeping Sickness Infects Audience

Montreal, PQ -The fifth debate in the series of the quest for the once-coveted Liberal leadership crown has turned tragic when a virulent illness appeared to sweep across the crowd in the Palais de congress where the event was taking place. Almost forty onlookers to the leadership tilt were overcome with what a number have described as “a sudden, inconsolable depression followed by loss of consciousness from the droning, listless voices on the stage."

“”It was so awful,” stated debater Martha Hall Findlay. “Some of them were sawing logs so loudly, no one could hear my exciting plan to scrap dairy marketing boards. If they weren’t snoring, they were moaning about the injuries they sustained from rudely passing out while I was talking.”

Another Liberal debater, Alan, or Alex something-or-other was equally irked by the inconsideration of the audience members.

“How the heck are we supposed to explain what great leaders we will be when we keep getting pushed around by all these EMT’s on the scene?” Albert… no… Alvin asserted vehemently. “How can we engage in fair and open discourse about the issues facing the nation with people yelling ‘Defibrulator… STAT!’ every two seconds?"

“This is outrageous!” bombasted perceived leadership frontrunner Justin Trudeau. “This is supposed to be about me! The only thing the media is going to talk about is the death toll instead of my campaign. I am going to file another complaint with the party brass.”

Police are waiting for notification of next of kin before releasing the names of the victims.


Photo by: ycanada_news  flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor the article endorsed. 

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
More from Chris McKerracher



Most Viewed

Promote Your Business

Social Activity

Top ^