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Dozens Injured At Liberal Leadership Debate

Mysterious Sleeping Sickness Infects Audience


Montreal, PQ -The fifth debate in the series of the quest for the once-coveted Liberal leadership crown has turned tragic when a virulent illness appeared to sweep across the crowd in the Palais de congress where the event was taking place. Almost forty onlookers to the leadership tilt were overcome with what a number have described as “a sudden, inconsolable depression followed by loss of consciousness from the droning, listless voices on the stage."

“”It was so awful,” stated debater Martha Hall Findlay. “Some of them were sawing logs so loudly, no one could hear my exciting plan to scrap dairy marketing boards. If they weren’t snoring, they were moaning about the injuries they sustained from rudely passing out while I was talking.”

Another Liberal debater, Alan, or Alex something-or-other was equally irked by the inconsideration of the audience members.

“How the heck are we supposed to explain what great leaders we will be when we keep getting pushed around by all these EMT’s on the scene?” Albert… no… Alvin asserted vehemently. “How can we engage in fair and open discourse about the issues facing the nation with people yelling ‘Defibrulator… STAT!’ every two seconds?"

“This is outrageous!” bombasted perceived leadership frontrunner Justin Trudeau. “This is supposed to be about me! The only thing the media is going to talk about is the death toll instead of my campaign. I am going to file another complaint with the party brass.”

Police are waiting for notification of next of kin before releasing the names of the victims.

 

Photo by: ycanada_news  flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor the article endorsed. 

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