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Bob Loblaw Wins Prestigious Award

No-Name Magnate Wins Name Contest

Food distribution CEO Bob Loblaw has been awarded the title of “Silliest Name in the Fortune 500”. In a special ceremony in Cheapside, Ontario, Loblaw was thrilled with the win, edging out Intercontinental Energy CEO Dinky Waki-Doodle.

“I am very proud to receive this award,” Loblaw said in his acceptance speech. “I thought that the fact my name only sounds silly when spoken out loud would go against me. Plus there was some real rib ticklers in the running including Ollie Ing-Humphrey of Sierra Mutual, and the CFO of Royal Tartan Industries, Seymour Assenyew.”

When asked about how having his famous name affected him growing up, Loblaw was candid about his troubled youth.

“I was bullied quite a bit, but then junior high is hell for everyone,” admitted the chief exec. “The mean kids called me some pretty terrible names, as if mine wasn’t bad enough. The worst was when they’d call me “Yadda Yadda Yadda”.

The Master of Ceremonies for the event was last year’s winner, the CEO of Eggroll Enterprises, Lo Hung Wang.


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