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Montreal Cops Celebrate Brutality Day

Hundreds Arrested - Almost Five People Charged

(SNN) - Montreal’s Chief of Police, Mario Martinette, was downright beaming when addressing the media at a press conference held to discuss the department’s handling of International Day to Protest Police Brutality.

“We arrested over 250 protestors, well, they weren’t all protestors but they were all committing the act of, “being outside” so that was close enough for us,” gloated the top cop. “This represents almost a 10% increase over similar arrests last year!”

Martinette went on to explain that they had upped their already impressive arrest totals by targeting suspicious types such as masked hoodlums, bystanders, tourists, as well as weeping women and children.

“Our new strategies proved to be a great success!” enthused the chief. “It’s pretty tough to complain about police brutality when you have a broken jaw.”

This year's winner of the "Golden Baton" for being voted MVP (Most Violent Policeman) went to Rene Le Dique for having personally violated the rights of a record 38 protestors. This eclipses the previous record of 34 by Pierre Couchon in 2010.

When presented with the coveted trophy, Le Dique broke down in tears of joy.

"They loathe me. They really loathe me!" he snuffled.

Photo by: Thivierr's flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor the article endorsed. 

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