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Marc Garneau Ends Leadership Bid

Claims Mothership Called Him Home.

Ottawa - Famed Canadian astronaut and Liberal leadership aspirant Marc Garneau has withdrawn his candidacy for the party crown. In a hastily-called news conference, Garneau made an impassioned speech citing a higher calling.

“I just received a transmission from Xenon 4 advising me to pull out of the race,” announced the glassy-eyed spaceman. “Apparently, according to the Interplanetary High Council, I was not to attract attention. Luckily, with Justin Trudeau in the race, there was no chance of that.”

Garneau was considered to be one of the front-runners for the Liberal mantle being far more intelligent, mature, experienced and capable than young Trudeau but could not match his hairdo or winning smile. Garneau finished his news conference by dissolving in a beam of light and has not been seen since.

Photo by: Patty's Photos flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, article not endorsed. 

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