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Class Action Lawsuit Leveled Against Mayans

Citing their flagrant disregard for public places and security,” the legal firm of Driver, Parker and Doer has launched a class action suit against the failed Central American society.

If you're going to threaten a world-wide catastrophe, you better be prepared to bring it,” explained lead council, Floyd “Big” Boyd. “If nothing else, it is false advertising.”

The law firm is seeking billions of dollars in damages to be divided by everyone who claims to have been injured, upset or merely, “bummed out” by the news of the planet’s demise.

"I didn’t do any Christmas shopping thinking the world was going to end up in the crapper and then had to rush around like a (expletive deleted) idiot at a crowded Wal-Mart to get everything done," stormed Betty-Lou Marshall-Dillon, the first litigant to sign up for the lawsuit.

It is unclear where the money to settle the suit will come from, as Mayan calendar t-shirt sales are currently in the dumper, alongside Justin Bieber-themed birthday kitsch.

Photo by: Amber Kennedy's flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, article not endorsed. "The Mayans were native to present day Mexico. This is a picture of an their version of today's city halls."

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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